(Photo Credit: Hamid Tajik)
Some of you know me as a friend, a therapist, an educator, or a speaker. A person who is always talking, listening, sharing thoughts, connecting with people, and trying to make a difference. And, yes, that’s a big part of who I am. But what you may not know is that behind every article I write or every talk I give, there are hours upon hours of thinking, processing, and reflection that go into each one. Which also leads to much more of what I haven’t shared yet.
I have always been a deep thinker, seeing connections and patterns, trying to understand systems with constant questioning. My parents and teachers can testify to this. My clients will tell you that I just don’t hear words—I listen. I listen with my whole self because I’ve realized that often what’s most important isn’t what’s spoken but what remains unspoken. What I hear, even in their silence, sparks curiosity and often results in a few questions right at the beginning of our time together. I have learned to trust my instincts about what I feel, making what I see and hear clearer and more accurate.
Through the variety of work I do with so many people, I have noticed something just as powerful. As humans we may have our unique perspectives and expressions, but deep down, our struggles, our desires, and our internal narratives share commonalities. Beneath our individual stories lies a common thread—a drive for connection, understanding, belonging. And, though shaped by different backgrounds and experiences, our fundamental needs and worries are remarkably similar when we dig deep enough. At the heart of many struggles, there are often two core beliefs that feed our pain: a fear of not being enough and/or feelings of loneliness. Even these two can be honed into one if feelings of loneliness are resulting from not feeling good enough. When we examine our issues, no matter how unique they might seem on the surface, they often come back to these two root beliefs, which have the power to affect every aspect of our lives.
Many of us think that our struggles stem from the outside world. But when we really look at our resistance and pain, they are often a reflection of what is happening within ourselves. Our own toxic thinking makes us doubt, question, or diminish ourselves, holding us back. Meanwhile, we are mistakenly linking causation to people or experiences outside of ourselves. Ironically, the more we try to shape ourselves to meet what we think others expect, the further we drift from the opportunity in discovering our true selves.
So, what if we started asking different questions? Instead of worrying so much about what others think, what if we turned that energy inward, to understand what and how we think about impacts our perceptions and experiences? Would knowing someone else’s opinion of us truly motivate us to change? Or is the real power to change simply inside us? This journey into ourselves, even though can be very challenging, can open the door to deeper understanding, authenticity, and resilience. Ultimately, leading us to a living a life embedded with more truth, trust, and love with ourselves and for others.
Having the courage to start looking inward, leaping into unfamiliar territory is where our real transformation begins, one that will change us at our core. You will likely want to resist as it is unknown. It is natural to cling to the familiar, to fight against our path to the truth because change can be uncomfortable, even frightening. But here’s the thing about the truth: no matter how much we try to suppress it, no matter how deep we bury it, it has a way of finding its way to the surface at some point, in some way. It will not ask for permission. It will simply rise, persistent and undeniable. Personally, I would rather it happens on my own terms and am willing to face the discomfort and trust in the experience and outcomes.
So really this journey is not just about belief; it is also about trust. Trusting in ourselves. Trust in your own experiences, in the lessons your life has been teaching you all along. Trust is more constant and stable. Beliefs can shift and change with time, influenced by new ideas or perspectives. But trust? Trust is a knowing that runs deep. It is a certainty that there is value in who you are in the life you are leading, supporting the belief in the purpose of your journey.
When we choose to lean into this trust, we stop trying to manipulate our thoughts to fit perceived external expectations. We finally allow ourselves to be. We allow our extraordinary potential to be realized. Freeing ourselves from being co-dependent on the events and circumstances outside, taking charge of ourselves.
When you truly discover and understand the power of your individual self and have a willingness to change and grow as part of your human experience, you can believe in the value of your voice, believe in the strength of your vulnerability, believe in the worth of your own truth. Every one of us wrestles with our own insecurities, trying to shake off the weight of our toxic thinking and self talk. Don’t you want to stop this cycle of self bullying? Do you want to break free from these manipulations we impose on ourselves?
When we do this individual work as a collective, we will start to realize that we are all in this together. Each one of us is the cause of a ripple and we all know how powerful a ripple can be. Imagine the power of many thinking and living in truth, trust, and love! That’s a humanity I want to be a part of. That’s the world I want for my children.
What do you want? Are you willing to start with you?